How to Get a Boyfriend

Hush, child

Say the girls for whom it comes so easily 

It happens when you least expect it

It comes when you’re not looking

But it won’t if you chase after it

If you want it so badly

That your heart aches

Your tear ducts burn

Your body shakes from unquenched need

Don’t be desperate, is what I hear

But—but—but

Don’t stop putting yourself out there

I watch my friends catch men like flies to honey

I mirror their every move

Go out

Flirt

Be polite

Yet elusive

Be sincere

Yet sexy

Be game for anything

But never, ever desperate 

You don’t want them to smell it on you

But it’s your scent that attracts them

Eau de fun, hot girl who wants a good time

But is open to more

Or less

Figure it out

It’s not hard

Take notes

Watch and learn

But wait

Everyone is different

Comparison is the thief of joy

Should I be this tired, I ask

From bending over backwards

Engaging in rituals

Repeating mantras

Opening up 

Closing off

Just the right amount 

To let someone in

Silence

One more thing

The most important rule

Don’t be so yourself 

That you turn them away